4/16/2024 0 Comments Sexual positions for older people![]() ![]() We absorb these notions in our youth, at a time when many of us simultaneously don’t receive adequate sex education. Women orgasm easily from penetrative sex alone. Successful sex requires throbbing erections and multiple orgasms. In high-high couples, both spouses believed sex was important to the relationship, and neither unilaterally withdrew from lovemaking because of age or other reasons.Societal and cultural messaging teaches us a variety of ideas, especially when it comes to sex: Couples that were high-high when young usually maintained it as they aged. High-high couples consistently worked on their relationships and welcomed the discussions. High-high couples enjoyed lots of non-genital loveplay before reaching between each other’s legs. With increasing age, it takes longer to warm up to genital play. High-high older lovers usually downplay or dispense with intercourse and focus on kissing, cuddling, mutual whole-body massage, hand jobs, fingering, oral sex, toys, and perhaps some anal play and kink (blindfolds, spanking). Many older lovers find intercourse difficult or impossible because of men’s erection issues, and women's vaginal dryness and atrophy. The usual term is “foreplay,” but that implies activities that precede intercourse. High-high couples were big on candles, background, music, laughter, and saying, “I love you.” Many called or texted before sex dates to say they were looking forward to making love. They also praised each other’s lovemaking, and asked for feedback. ![]() High-high couples were eager to discuss their sexual desires, needs, and changes. Silence sabotages intimacy and frays emotional bonds. What’s real intimacy? Self-revelation using words. They were open to self-help recourses, and thanked each other for presenting them. High-high couples made love in new ways in new places, and at different times. Anything new and different stimulates release of dopamine, the neurotransmitter of sexual heat. High-high couples were able to negotiate sexual frequencies both could live with more or less comfortably. High frequency and high satisfaction were strongly associated with: Sexual Elements That Enhanced Frequency and Satisfaction When one partner says, “I/we are too old for sex,” the other feels alienated. Low-low elders tended to have long histories of sexual dissatisfaction with each other. These kill desire and impair performance. Emotional distance and chronic relationship tensions.Low-low couples often disagreed on how long sex should last, with one’s insistence on quickies often causing resentments in the other. Little or no kissing, cuddling, mutual whole-body massage, genital hand massage, oral sex, or toys. No candles, music, laughter, or whispered endearments before and during sex. If the same thing happens repeatedly, both partners develop resentments. When one spouse presents material offering sexual suggestions and the other dismisses it, the presenter gets annoyed and the other feels defensive. Lovers who don’t discuss their changing desires and needs or who stop checking in about these issues after a certain age wind up feeling out of touch with each other. After a while, the same old thing all the time stops being fun. When one wants sex significantly more than the other, lovemaking suffers. Low frequency and low satisfaction were strongly associated with: ![]() Sexual Elements That Reduced Frequency and Satisfaction ![]()
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